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Suffering a miscarriage can be a traumatic event that brings along physical and emotion pain. If you have suffered a miscarriage, you may be feeling cheated or wondering what you did that caused this horrible thing to take place. Your body will of course heal over time but emotionally, you may feel as if you will never get over the pain of losing your unborn child. Many women prefer to ignore these emotions and do not deal with their feelings following a miscarriage. Not facing your feelings however can cause deeper problems, including depression and other emotional issues that can be very serious.
A miscarriage is the loss of a child and as such, should be dealt with. It is perfectly normal to go through a period of grieving after losing your baby. Bottling up your grieving is not advisable. You may feel as if you need to show a strong emotional front for those around you but remember that you are the one who suffered the miscarriage and you have every right to grieve. There is not a set amount of time for grieving the loss of an unborn child. Different couples will have different coping times. You should grieve for as long as you feel necessary. Just remember that he also lost this child so grieve together as the parents that you are.
You will come to a time when you feel that the grieving period is over. Keep in mind that grief is not the only emotion that you may feel. Many women who suffer miscarriages report feeling isolated, lonely and depressed. You may feel as if no one else in the world knows the pain that you are experiencing. If you feel that you cannot cope or you are having problems just going through your regular daily routines, you may want to speak with your doctor. It is not uncommon for women to experience severe depression after suffering a miscarriage and depression is a health condition that requires professional help. Speak with your doctor if you feel that you are experiencing any abnormal emotions or feelings.
Blame is a common emotion after miscarriage. You may blame yourself for not protecting your unborn child or feel that you did something to cause the miscarriage. These thoughts can eat at you and cause you to feel anger and jealousy toward women who are pregnant or new mothers. These emotions are perfectly normal and will fade with time. You simply have to allow yourself to feel them.
Your partner may feel uneasy in talking to you after your miscarriage. He does not blame you; he simply does not know what to say that will make things better for you. If he is reluctant to speak to you then you can start the conversation. Be perfectly honest with him. If you are not ready to discuss the baby or the miscarriage, then tell him that. Keeping the communication open between the two of you is essential. Remember again that he also lost this child. He will also need to grieve and may need you to comfort him just as you need him to comfort you.
If you are finding it difficult to cope with your feelings, start keeping a journal. This will give you an avenue to express what you are feeling and will allow you to look back after a while to see just how well you have coped with your grieving. Family and friends may need limits. Let them know if you are not comfortable with visits or with discussing the miscarriage. If you are not yet ready to face the world, simply don’t face it. Take some time off and if possible, take some time away with your partner. This gives you and him some quality alone time that will help you to comfort each other without friends and family interfering.
Find a special way to remember your child. This can help with the grieving process and ensures that you will always have a piece of him or her with you. Many parents of miscarriages hold memorial services or plant a special tree in their child’s name. Choose something that you feel comfortable doing to commemorate your child and help you through the grieving process.
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