There are few things more frightening than getting back into the dating scene after a divorce or breakup. This is particularly true for mothers. If you have children, especially teenagers, there are things that you will need to keep in mind when you begin dating again. First, understand that you have every right to a life. You have the right to date and to be happy. While your teenager may not agree with you, he or she will learn in time that your dating does not take away from your time with them. You simply have to learn ways to reorganize your life to include dating time. Here are a few tips that will help you:

• Remember that you are the mother and you make the rules. Teenagers will have their own advice to offer and may want to know every single detail. You are a mother, not a girlfriend to your child. You should not offer up too many details of your dating life but you should at least be honest and explain to your child that you are dating.
• You do not have to introduce every single man that you date to your teenager. This could get tricky fast. Simply let your children know that you are going to be on a date and if you do decide that this man will be part of your life and then allow him to meet your children. You do not want to parade a long line of men in front of your children that they will only see once.
• Be honest and upfront with your teenagers. There is no need to sneak around to date. Remember that you are the parent and you have every right to date. Simply explain to your teen that you are seeing someone. Also be sure that you behave as you would want your teenager to behave. Don’t allow your dates to spend the night, particularly in the beginning of a relationship. You certainly would not want your teenager to have a boyfriend or girlfriend for a sleepover and you should set an example for your children.
• Set your priorities and stick with them. Never allow men to take first place over your children. If you have prior commitments to your teenager then keep those plans. Your dates will wait. For example, if your son has a big basketball playoff coming up then be sure that you are not planning a date for that night. You have to set your priorities and be sure that you do not allow dating to interfere with home life. Of course, this goes both ways.
• When you are on a date, be on a date. Many single mothers feel so guilty about dating that they actually ruin their dates before they ever begin. When you are on a date, try to avoid talking about your children incessantly and calling home to check on your teen. You can speak about your children for a few minutes, but then turn to a different conversation point. As far as phoning home, do it once on the date if you really need to and then let it go.
• You should expect your teenager to resist your dating plans, at least in the very beginning. Your teenager simply wants to protect you or may feel that you are not going to be there for him or her when they need you most. Explain that you will always have time for them but be firm about your decision to begin dating again. Remember, you deserve to have a personal life and your teenager will come around. It may simply take time. If you find that there is too much resistance, sit your child down and talk with him or her about the real problem. They may not want to share you or may feel that you are moving on and want you and your ex to once again be together. Explain the situation and keep communication open with your teen at all times.

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