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Relationships carry with them certain complexities, one of which is “the talk”. Typically, men would rather forgo talking about commitment as long as possible but women tend to need answers to their questions. Women want to know if the relationship is heading in the direction that they desire and whether their men see themselves together in the future. While having an open communication policy sounds great on paper the fact is that when it comes to dating we all (male and female) tend not to want to rock the boat. At some point in a relationship however, both partners must decide what they want out of the relationship and where it is ultimately heading.
Having a conversation about commitment should be taken seriously but not so seriously that it overshadows everything else. The key is to have the conversation at a time when it feels natural to do so. If you push the commitment talk too soon in the relationship it could prove to be very painful. Both partners should be ready to discuss the aspect of a long-term commitment on equal terms without one pressuring the other. On the other hand if you have been in your relationship for several months and you still can not get “the talk” out of your partner then you may just assume that he does not feel the same way about your relationship and get out before you get further involved. While it certainly is not wrong for one person to seek a more committed relationship than their partner, it is definitely wrong to seek commitment through intimidation tactics or to attempt to force your partner into making a commitment. Honestly, if you must force someone to commit to you then aren’t you just better off finding someone new? Once it becomes obvious that you are both ready to take your relationship to a new level, then open the lines of communication. Have the conversation in a mutually comfortable place where you can both relax. Don’t rush into the conversation. After all this could be the moment that may change your life forever. Be sure to take your time. Know that the conversation may be awkward and even down right frightening in the beginning but once you have begun you will feel much less nervous and may even find yourself excited about the possibilities of your future relationship. Allow your partner to open up and discuss his feelings and plans for your relationship. Of course you would hope that he feels the same way as you do about future plans together. If he does not then you should realize that it is best to find out now before you get into the relationship any further. Once you have told him where you would like to see your relationship headed then sit back and let him talk. Allow him to express his true feelings. Once you have laid it all out there the ball is pretty much in his court. He will need to process what you have told him and make up his own mind about how he feels. Once you have opened up the lines of communication where commitment is concerned it is very important that you continue to view your relationship in a positive light even before your partner gives you a response. Having this conversation is only the first in a loving and long-term relationship. Show him that you are a supportive person who cares about his feelings as well as your own. This may just help to make his decision about commitment a bit easier.
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