Home Relationship Dating What It Means When He Doesn’t Call
What It Means When He Doesn’t Call Print
Relationship - Dating

“Why hasn’t he called?” This is the age-old question of women everywhere. That gut feeling that you get when a day or two goes by without hearing from your new guy may be interminable. There could be many reasons why he has not called you and understanding these reasons may give some relief to that insufferable nagging feeling that you may be experiencing.

There are many men who actually enjoy sending women into a frenzy over their phone calls. They want to play a game - it’s in their genes. Many men are afraid that if they call too soon they will appear desperate. They would rather wait for a few days and give you the impression that they actually have a life outside of your relationship. This may or may not be true but they will make you believe it just the same. This is a completely normal action and can occur over a few days. If it does go past just a couple days into a week then he may simply not be interested or could be so immature that he wants to take the game to a whole new level. Either way you are probably better off without him.

Actually if he stretches the call time past a week or so and then he suddenly calls you and asks for another date then he either enjoys playing women in general or he has other priorities that he considers more important and is simply using you as someone to fall back on in the event that his other priorities don’t pan out. This is also a warning sign of a married man. If you go out with someone who waits for a week to even a month before he calls again, and he does not offer a very credible (and verifiable) reason then you are probably better off finding someone else to spend your time with.

While these tips are excellent for those with a new relationship or a first date crisis, if the man in question is your steady boyfriend then you have every right to expect a call from him at least once per day. He should at the very least have an extra five minutes to pick up the phone and say hello. If you are in a semi-serious to serious relationship with someone who goes days without so much as a ten-second phone call to let you know that he is thinking of you then you are most definitely better off without him.

Of course he can always say that he was busy at work but this excuse can’t always fly. There are many men who will use work as an excuse to spend more time with the boys or even to date other women. If he travels extensively with his job or is in a job where security is an issue such as law-enforcement then he may very well not be able to call you periodically. You should know what type of industry employs him. If he is not in the type of job that could potentially hinder his use of the telephone then he may simply not be as serious about the relationship as you are. Or, if you have just begun dating then he may not want to pursue a closer relationship. This is one of those times when you should use your intuition and your best judgment.

Ultimately men are not nearly as complicated as women tend to believe. They often do not give the mixed signals that we see. If he does not call you soon after a date then chances are that he is simply not interested and you should move on to someone who is.

Comments (27)Add Comment
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written by R, December 27, 2008
Thank u so much, u just made everything clear to me xoxo
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written by bugfizz, January 31, 2009
I like this article, it covers the whole scenarios
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written by Monique, March 01, 2009
Interesting article. I found this site that deals with questions why guys don't call and it seems to cover all bases
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not calling or anything??
written by marie, March 23, 2009
i am trying to be reasonable and expect that my "friend" (he and I are both married) is really really really busy. But one week after spending a glorious 3 hour hot sessioj together which included much cuddling and divulging of personal information (more him than me) i am livid that he hasn't left me a 20 sec voicemail or dropped me a two sentence email I wish I didn't enjoy his company so much....
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We were exclusive
written by Blue, April 15, 2009
We had just decided to be exclusive and were on our second week. We had slept together twice and had been dating off and on since October. Then over texting, which is not the way to go, he became upset and quit talking. It has been two days now. I feel he was trying to pick a fight and feel pretty blue. I just hope this article does not apply to my situation, if it does, truth is good too.
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friend
written by jessica, May 06, 2009
i am in a 4 year relationship and just moved out of my boyfriends parents house... his parents are crazy..... now im living at home and he stayed with his crazy family... he tells me that he will tell his parents that we are still together when the time is right,,, he is starting up his own business and wants to keep our relationship on the down low because i think he's afraid of his parents making his life miserable, and he cant deal with the stress right now,.... but while all this is going on, i went from seeing him every day to seeing him 3x a week. its hard for me and i cant stand when he doesnt call when he says hes going to. how do i make him want me, he says all the right things, but his actions just dont show it sometimes
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written by confused, June 13, 2009
my boyfriend broke up with me over a really stupid argument this weekend. he said i was stressful but he just entered a tournament and didn't qualify for it. he said he'd call wednesday, texted me on wed and said to give him a few days, and its now saturday. what should i do?
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same situation as marie
written by bibo, July 10, 2009
I am in the same situation as Marie and I had talked to the guy for 5 years before meeting. Finally we meet and then he ignores me. At least tell me that you don't want to see me again. We are both married and I understand that, but after messaging me constantly before it is a complete turn around to ignore somebody.
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He hardly calls nowadays.. is he too busy??
written by Nush, August 27, 2009
It's a nice article... thx! I dnt know why he's doing that. He'll be in the country for 3 more weeks. Ever since he's here, he seems to be soo distant. I prefered him when he was away.. at least he wud reply my sms or even give a 15 sec call!! But i just can understand, he says he cares but he doesnt even sms me.. or miss call or call!!! i dnt know wat to expect anymore. It's semi serious.. we're in our 20's. i know him since a LONG time (years!!).. we dated for few months. i dnt knoowwww.... it's frustrating!!
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never call me... and disappear for long...
written by Mary Latina, August 28, 2009
thanks so much!! I understand the guy I've just dated recently now... i fell in love with him but seems he is not interested in me, just being polite... smilies/sad.gif
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I object!
written by riviera, September 04, 2009
I have to totally disagree with this article. You can't treat all guys the same or expect the same from everyone. That is the real key to understanding people. It is not about establishing fixed rules and apply them to everyone. No matter who, no matter what, no matter when.... It is about common sense and intuition.

Besides, I believe that people who need everyday contact are insecure. And I have had two very long and beautiful relationships.
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written by JDD, September 29, 2009
I think I knew this deep down but having ventured on a date with someone who is very charming but seemed vulnerable, someone I have known of for many years - you take things at face value and then a second date, he said all the right things and asked when I was free again there was chemistry and laughter and he has not called in a week I think it is creul.
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He txts like crazy and suddenly NOTHING
written by Sati, November 04, 2009
I am in same situation as alot of you; we both (married) but we have known each other for 3 years; off and on... he will text alot and sometimes he takes a month or longer; out of the blue, he will text again. Last week, he texted me 300 texts and send some pics of him and haven't heard from him in 4 days now....? What's up??
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Only go out once a week
written by MR, November 30, 2009
Hi, met this great guy back in August. It took him nearly 2 weeks to call me. I didn't respond for almost month after he called and sent me a text message. Finally I agreed to go out to dinner and we hit it off great. We now go out once a week. One week we had back to back dates. Had a great time, however we both had quite a bit to drink and I ended up staying at his house. We have continued to see each other again once a week. Strange thing is he never calls during the time we are apart. He does travel extensively and his job sometimes requires him to work weekends. I have 2 children as well which of course occupies the majority of my time. Either he is wanting to take things very slow or he doesn't like me as much as I like him and doesn't want a relationship. Like clockwork he will text me at the beginning of the week to see when we can meet up for dinner. Today it didn't happen. So it's seems a little weird, any advice out there? I know he is not married and according to him never married. He hasn't discussed any previous relationships with me either. It has only been about 2 months.
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'Understanding' is the booby prize
written by nica, December 19, 2009
This type of guy has mommy abandonment issues. She left him, he's angry, now he gets 'intimate' (aka mommy) to get a payoff or power by abandoning her (aka you). There's a reason your girlfriends wiggle their little finger if he walks passed. He has an emotional baby dick. Feel happy you know it now rather than spend any more figuring him out or 'understanding' him or trying to change him. He's angry. Work on yourself to attract someone happy instead.
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written by single gal, December 22, 2009
I met someone in a work related setting. We were both immediately attracted to each other. He called me the next day. We had lunch soon after and he called everyday since our initial meeting. We had dinner one evening(officially or second date) and he baegan sexual banter that I felt waas inappropriate this early in the relationship. He also stated that he did not want to get married again and that he found me somehat intimidating in my professional success and my self confidence.(He is divorced.)He also expressed that he was not sure about wheter I really liked him and was not convinced until I called him while I was away. I shared my feeling with him regarding his statements. He continued to call and inquired about doing something over the weekend. We were scheduled to speak that evening He called me and got my voicemail. ( I wdid not hear my phone). I returned his call and received his voicemail. I have not heard from him since and I have not called him. I am aware that: (1) it is the holiday season and he may have been apprehensive; (2)he is not monogamous and has other relationships; (3) he is a game player; and (4)most importantly, he does not want to get serious and feels that this is the way we are/would be heading. I have accepted that and have moved on. If he ever does call again, I will be friendly and polite, but will not go out with him again. Two things that I lack are time and patience. I can never recup time and have no patience for bull.
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Good article...
written by Waterbaby, December 25, 2009
...but men are too painful. Is it worth it?
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Men
written by Zach, January 11, 2010
The question isn't whether men are worth it. The question is...do you think you're worth it? bottom line is when a man knows what he wants, he will go to all lengths to get it. Depending on the guy it could be just a conquest and they have all the right moves to meet their "goals". For other men it is the search of that one woman who will add to their life and devot himself as a husband and father. try and remember when they first pursued you, they gave you everything on a silver platter. Once they got what they wanted they were out the door or worse, they held on to you and became complacent. Being ignored hurts, just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean you wont be lonely. I think it's worse actually to be in a complacent relationship. If the guy is married than it's default that you will be dismissed quite easily. it's cruel I know. Overall If he truly wants you, there wont be anything that will ever stop him from pursuing you and keeping you. TRY and remember life is too short to get hung up on a guy who is worthless for not seeing how amazing you truly are.
FYI-when a guy talks about having a deep connection with you, anything to do with soulmates, chemistry or some unseen force they can't explain....it's because it's bullshit. (proven by their lack of communication) that's their favorite line to get you to do whatever he wants whether you like it or not like an idiot stressing over someone who isn't stressing over you. enjoy your life, women are the stronger of the forces and men are scared to death if you ever really figured that out.
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in response to the single gal
written by Bianca, January 11, 2010
I love hearing that you called him out on his bull! he was totally working you and was trying to play the fake compliment angle about how he is intimidated by your success. What a tool. most women would have downplayed their achievments to pacify his insecurities (if they themselves were insecure) brilliant show my dear, looks like you are where you are in life by weighing out your actions. it's so refreshing to hear.
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Auditor
written by Genie, January 12, 2010
It is an excuse for what he does or does not want to say. He longs for the chase. He will call at his on his own time, this is a sign that he has contol issues. Chase em and replace em but don't face em. That seems to be the sterotypes for those types of men. I've got something you can call him: Gone!
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Great Stumble-Upon...
written by Who Me?, February 01, 2010
Well done!
Straight-up with a great big arrow that points out what is true...there is someone "out there" who will really dig you. Don't waste-->follow the signs.
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Ms
written by Trish, February 20, 2010
I guess it all depends on whether you become a game player like many men are. I love my man. He loves me. If he doesnt call he either cant or needs some space. Men are as human as women. There are no rules in love.
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inhumane
written by nano-nini, March 14, 2010
I met a really nice guy right as he was leaving out of town for business. He was gone for quite a few months and we kept in touch via email and short phone calls. When he finally returned, we met up for a weekend to reconnect. It was great! We talked a lot, laughed; I felt like I had known him forever. Since we both live in different cities, he promised to visit often. It's been 5 days and I haven't heard a peep from him. no txt, email, phone call nothing...This has been the most painful dating experience I've had to deal with. Painful and humiliating...
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Thank you!!!
written by Confused, March 18, 2010
Thank u so much. I was hurting so bad wanting to call him. But you have helped me to be stronger in this situation.
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Thank you Zach 1/11/10
written by Trina, August 07, 2010
Thank you Zach for your comment that "he's" not worth worrying over. I am a wonderful person and this man that I thought I had a connection with hasn't bothered to call me or answer my e-mail. It's been 2 weeks and I was agonizing over it. Someone else will see the good in me. It's HIS LOSS! smilies/grin.gif
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Need to be stronger
written by Sex is my weakness, August 16, 2010
I slept with this guy I thought he really liked me but i no new from him now ! Well it feels awful! It hurts smilies/sad.gif but I try to smile everytime i walk down the street and I can still see that turn some heads around. smilies/smiley.gif
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written by SANDRA, August 19, 2010
Unless of course you are dating an Aquarius man...lol They tend to do just the opposite of anyone else, especially when they are interested.
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