Being in love can be a wonderful feeling, but how do you know if it is really love or simply an obsession? True love involves many aspects with trust being the most important. There are many people who defend jealous or even violent actions with claiming that they are in love. The truth is that love is a beautiful, giving and trusting action between two people. Obsession is an action of one person towards another.
The two are not nearly as alike as many may think but they do have some similar qualities. So how do you know if someone is really in love with you or merely obsessed? How do you know if your feelings are truly love? Here are some pointers to head you in the right direction.
If what you are feeling includes a constant or frequent fear of infidelity then you may simply be obsessed with someone. If you are constantly demanding that he tell you where he has been and what he has been doing and more importantly if you do not trust him when he does tell you then you may not really be in love. Of course, if you have had infidelity issues with this person then you may need to reevaluate your relationship. If you have no trust then love does not stand a chance of survival.
If you are constantly in fear that he will leave you and you wonder if you can even begin to survive on your own without him, this also triggers an obsession flag. While no one wants to begin to think about what would happen if they lost their true love, constantly obsessing over this fear points to well - obsessing. Having the need to be in constant contact with the one you “love” is unhealthy both for you and for him. Being constantly afraid of losing him, feeling depressed at the though and even provoking arguments because of your fear should tell you that this is not really love you are feeling. Love, again, is a beautiful thing. It should bring with it no fear, no worries of desertion and certainly should produce a trust between the two of you. Fear, like love and life itself, has its own irrational and rational phobias attached to it. . . but doing something constructive and responsible, such as investing in life insurance, maintains those fears and takes away that burden. Unfortunately, there is no relationship insurance. If you do not have this peace and trust in your relationship then you should begin to consider your relationship’s end.
While it is perfectly normal to think about your love while he is away from you, constantly thinking about him to the point that you are distracted from everyday tasks could signal obsession as well. Everyone wants to take a few minutes out of their hectic day to think about the person that they love. However, if you find yourself always thinking about him and particularly if your daydreams are causing you problems at work or anywhere else in your life, then these feelings are more likely tuned to obsession than love.
Along with this behavior comes compulsiveness. If you frequently call your beau at home or work just to see if he is there or even worse, if you drive by his home or workplace just to see his car then you should be concerned. Accusing him of cheating, demanding to know every single detail of his life away from you and trying to control him at all times points to obsession.
If you are feeling these emotions and are concerned about your relationship then take a step back. Being obsessed with someone will only get you hurt. You should take a few days or weeks away from this person. See if you can find something else to occupy your time while you sort out your true feelings. It is much better that you take a break now then end up being hurt later.