Lionel Richie sang about it. Thousands of authors have written stories about it and there are millions of actors in the world who have played in movies about it. So, what IS real love? Every one of us wants to know that we have found true love. We want to feel it to the very core of our being. We begin fantasizing about it when we are just little girls and spend most of our teenage and early adult years searching for it in the faces of every man we date. How then do we really know when we have found real love?
The key to realizing when you have found real love is in understanding what real love is. Real, unconditional love is so very different from all other forms. When we were growing up we would behave ourselves and help our parents because ultimately we wanted the assurance of their love. We knew that if we were quite, obedient and well-behaved they would love us. Of course when we weren’t so well-behaved the consequences would leave us feeling as if we weren’t loved; at least for the moment.
Growing up we soon realized that our parents have unconditional love. As parents ourselves we realize what unconditional love really means. No matter what our children may do, how badly they behave or how angry they make us we will always love them. This kind of unconditional love is easy. Unconditional or real love when it comes to relationships is often a bit more difficult to ascertain.
In order to be truly happy the only kind of love you need is unconditional love. In fact, this is a prerequisite. The only kind of love that will complete you and offer all the happiness that you have been searching for is unconditional or true love. Real love has been defined as caring completely about the happiness of another. This comes without any thought for self satisfaction. You’ve surely heard the saying “If you love something set it free”. This is an example of real love. If you truly love someone then you want them to be happy, whether that happiness is shared with you or not. If someone really loves you then they want you to be happy above all else. If they simply want you because you make them happy then this is not necessarily real love. Of course it’s not necessarily unreal love either. There is a thin line here.
The only way to really know if what you have in your relationship is real love is to look at your relationship itself. If you have made mistakes, failed to make your man happy in some way or even get completely in his way of doing something and he still wants to be with you, holds no hard feelings and loves you anyway, then you have found your true love. Don’t let the old folk tales about your first love being your only true love scare you. This is not always true. Many people live most of their adult lives before they finally meet their one true love. Know that real, unconditional, true love has the potential to heal all wounds. It can bind people together in ways that nothing else can and it has the power to create relationships that can withstand anything that is thrown at them.
If you have yet to experience this type of love don’t give up. You can find true love as long as you know what you are really looking for. True love has nothing to do with sexual gratification, money or other trivial matters. Real love is something that is felt completely from the heart and once you find it you will know beyond all question that you have found true love.