Have you ever heard Frank Sinatra’s song Wives and Lovers? Part of the song advises women to not “send him off with your hair still in curlers. You may not see him again”. Pleasing men has long been the way of women. Now, we aren’t talking about sexual gratification here. We’re talking about the lengths that women go to just to ensure that their men are completely happy. So, why do we do it?
It may possibly be that we have been raised from birth with the old-fashioned views of how husbands and wives are supposed to act. The tradition of pleasing our men is highly evident in the South. Southern women typically live much of their married lives striving to ensure that their husbands are happy. It’s what they are taught in watching their parents. In the 50s it was not at all uncommon to see women focused on pleasing their men. Men were the bread winners and women were the homemakers. No one questioned it. It just worked.
So why is it so odd to see women wanting to keep their men happy today? Why should women feel old-fashioned because they strive to please their men? They shouldn’t feel singled out just because they want to ensure their husband’s happiness but it is important to understand whether or not you are pleasing your man for the right reasons.
For instance, if you are working yourself into a frenzy to ensure that your man is happy simply because you are afraid of what he may do if he is not happy then you are definitely going about this for the wrong reasons. Women should never have to please a man just for the sheer pleasure of his company. Pleasing your man should be done out of love, respect and joy. You should want to do things to make him happy just to make him happy; not because you are afraid that he will venture out with someone else if you do not cater to his every whim. Bringing his coffee to him and doing little things to please him should be done out of caring. You should view these simply as ways to keep your marriage fresh and your love in tact. You should never use your actions of pleasing him to ensure that he stays faithful.
Plainly put, if you are afraid that your man is going to cheat on you if you do not completely satisfy him then perhaps you would be better off without him. You have to trust him on every level otherwise the relationship is headed for disaster. Pleasing him is something that you should do because you want to see him smile or because you just want to do some little something to show him how much you care. When you begin to use pleasing him as a means to keep him around it turns the whole relationship sour.
So, if you want to please your man, even if you want to revert back to the 1950s housewife era then by all means that is your business and yours alone. Doing little things for our men makes them happy so we should be allowed to do them without people wondering what we are up to. But remember, if you are trying to please him because you want something in return then you are doing it for the wrong reasons. Do things for him out of love and respect only. He will be much happier when you do and you will not risk resentment for those special things that you have chosen to do.