The moment that you have been waiting for is finally here. Your new baby is in your arms and you could not be happier. Now is a time of changes. You will notice that your normal routine that you had before baby will be changed. You may also have noticed a few changes during your pregnancy. Financial concerns, questions about your parenting skills and even mood swings are all normal during and directly after pregnancy. It is important to make plans for yourself and your partner to keep your marriage exciting after baby arrives.
During the first few weeks you may simply want to bask in the excitement of being parents. After a few weeks however and once the doctor gives you the go ahead to resume marital relations, you may want to plan special times for you and your partner.
During the first three months following your baby’s birth you may simply want to sleep as much as possible. Be patient with yourself as a new mother. Be patient with your spouse as a new father and with your new baby. Everyone is learning at this stage and lack of sleep during the first three months can put nerves on edge. Make an effort to be especially kind and considerate with each other. If you feel well-rested and you notice that your spouse does not, offer to let him nap while you take care of the baby and vice-versa. Try to make a few minutes each day just about each other. You can enlist the help of family and friends when you need a little time away from baby, this is perfectly normal. You cannot expect to do everything yourself. Many new parents go through a temporary lapse in their sex life, particularly after their first baby is born. This is also normal and you can find other ways to show your love even if your love life is not what it used to be. Try not to worry about your love life. It will return to normal as you become more experienced in parenthood.
After the first three months you will notice that you have begun to get yourself and your baby into a routine. You can take a look at your routine now and see where you can put aside some quality time to spend with your spouse. If you are sharing a room with baby, this would be a good time to discuss a nursery. Remember that while your baby is very special, you do not have to devote every single minute of every single day to him or her. You do have to make time for yourself and for each other.
Once your baby reaches the six month mark your life will be very active. From six months to a year after birth, baby will begin crawling and walking and perhaps even talking. This would be the perfect time to sit down with your spouse and discuss rules for the baby and for each other. You can begin to get your baby into a regular bedtime schedule which gives you the perfect opportunity to have some alone time with your spouse. This is also a good time to begin looking for trustworthy babysitters so that you and dad can go out. Plan a date night at least one night each month. Call up grandparents or aunts and uncles. Most would be happy to spend some quality time with baby and you can get a reliable babysitter without it costing you anything.
Overall, you should strive to communicate with your partner daily, even from the first day home from the hospital. Make sure that you try to create time for each other and forget about being super-parents. You are going to make mistakes and you are going to be tired, grumpy and perhaps even a bit nasty at times. This is all completely normal. The important thing is to stay connected as a couple. A new baby should bring you closer together but all marriages require a little work in order to stay exciting.