Home Relationship Marriage What Men Really Want In a Wife
What Men Really Want In a Wife Print
Relationship - Marriage

Since men do not discuss their feelings as easily as women, it is often difficult to determine just what they expect out of marriage. Many women throughout time have been devastated by a sudden divorce request from their husbands. They may have thought that he was perfectly happy but in truth, he was completely miserable. In order to keep your marriage healthy it is vitally important to understand what men really want in a wife and how to be the wife that they want and need. To understand the concept of what men really want you can look at some of the marriage priorities that men have given over the years to counselors and friends.

First and foremost, men want to be appreciated. They want to know that you appreciate the work that they do and everything that they contribute to your marriage and family. Simply put, men do not want to feel as if they are being taken advantage of. Just imagine how you would feel if you didn’t think anyone appreciated all the hard work you do. Men are no exception.

They also like to know that they are making you happy. They want their wives to laugh and smile frequently. They want you to laugh at their jokes and appreciate their stories. Of course you don’t want to plaster a fake Ms. America smile on your face at all times. You need to really keep a good sense of humor and appreciate the little ways that he tries to make you smile.

They want you to be concerned about them. They want to know that you are concerned about their general well-being. If your husband is not feeling well then he wants you to take care of him. If he is sad or depressed then he wants you to comfort him and be concerned about his feelings. Women are not the only ones with emotional issues. Men feel just as deeply as women do they just have more trouble expressing those feelings. If you see your husband feeling down or having an emotional crisis then be there for him. This is especially true in homes with children. It is often a woman’s prerogative to put her children’s needs before her husbands. Just know that sometimes he may need you more. He may need a bit more affection and caring to let him know that you are still concerned about him even though you may have other issues to deal with at the moment.

Finally - and this is the big one - he wants time alone with you. Although a healthy sex life is important to many men, being alone together does not necessarily mean for sex. It is important for you both to be sexually satisfied but it may be a bit more important to just spend alone time together. A date night once every week or so will do wonders for his self-esteem and yours as well. It will help you to create and maintain a stronger bond between you. Men want to know that their wives want to be with them. Honestly, men are like little boys sometimes who often feel self-conscious and frightened. It is important that you show your husband that you are still attracted to him, not just sexually but emotionally as well.

If you feel that your husband is not currently happy then discuss these issues with him. Ask him how he feels about your marriage and your personal relationship. Give him the opportunity to speak up about what he feels is missing in your marriage. Communication is the key to a successful marriage. Talk to him and ensure that you are both getting everything that you dreamed from your relationship.

Comments (11)Add Comment
unhappily married with kids, Lowly rated comment [Show]
Grow Up
written by Does Not Matter, January 14, 2009
How childish & self centered of you & your guy friends. It is hard enough to physically/mentally keep up with 3 children, 1 adult child (husband,) & self. I am sure your wife gets paid $0 and she "work so much to take care of four people pretty much by myself." Everything I have read is about you, you, & you. GROW UP! WEML..

1. Would it not be better to invest your money into something better than your VG's & your CD's? Is this the things children like? Get off your wife's back about useless things.

2. "I will get around to doing what is needed to be done when I get around to doing it." If your wife thought the same way nothing would get done. Quit playing your video games for 5 minutes & do what needs to be done. Help...

3. "I will eat what I want when I want." FIX YOU FOOD YOURSELF & quit nagging... She is only worried about you & your families health.

4 "I like smoking. It calms and relaxes me." Have you ever thought that maybe, just maybe she may need a cigarette so that she can relax. Again, she is only worried about you & your families health.

Sorry if this is harsh but it is honest?
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...
written by majesty, January 22, 2009
dear unhappily married with kids,

I think your above comment is really sad.I guess what youre really trying to say is that because you cant buy video games when you want and because your wife is conerned about your health and your family finances ... you wish that you never got Married or had your children - what does that say about you and your maturity?

most adult married couples know that even though raising kids is the hardest thing theyve ever done, it is all worth it. What are you Going to say to your kids on your Death bed?... 'umm I wish I never had you, I wanted to buy video games instead!

think about it ...
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unhappily married with kids
written by Itsme, March 05, 2009
i'm surprised your wife hasn't left you by now. she needs a real man who isn't self-centered and still a baby needing a bottle. She already has that in her children. Forgive her for wanting things to be taken care around the house and not falling apart so that YOU look good. Oh yeah, and please forgive her sin for caring about you and your cigarette smoking. What a witch! How could you even stand it? And your weight? Wow, if you did that while you were dating, she probably wouldn't have given you a 2nd thought. I guess it doesn't matter to you if you have a heart attack. What a horrible woman for caring.
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Unhappily married with kids
written by Miracles do happen, March 12, 2009
It's so amazing to me that you allow anger to get the best of you and your situation. I don't believe not one bit that you even believe what you have stated in this comment about your children and even the fact that you hate that you got married.

No one put a gun to your head and made you get married or even forced you to have sex with your wife in order to get her pregnant in the first place. Surely there must be something there because if it wasn't you would be gone and you wouldn't have time to grope about your pitiful little problems that are so minute and they really don't matter.

I need you to stop and really think about how you really feel, is your problem really the wife and children or are you just unhappy with yourself and your own accomplishments. Don't take your frustrations out on the family because you are unhappy channel those feelings and place the blame where they really go.

How would you feel if your parents felt the same way that you do about your children or if you found out that your wife felt the same way that you do about her how would that make you feel. Re-evalute how you really feel and if it is all that bad leave the family would be better off any way. Before you do I would like to introduce you to a movie called fire proof you can order it off of amazon.com it is an awesome movie and it will give you something to think about and if you are still unhappy don't continue to make your family suffer be a man and do what is right.
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Hm........
written by Sally, March 28, 2009
So what do men really want smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/kiss.gif smilies/cry.gif smilies/cool.gif smilies/shocked.gif smilies/sad.gif smilies/grin.gif smilies/cheesy.gif smilies/wink.gif smilies/smiley.gif
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written by lola, June 05, 2009
your a loser! I wonder if your mother said the same thing about you..
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whoa!
written by me, July 02, 2009
wow! u r relly angry. first, divorce wont make u hapier n u r jealous of ur kids stop listening to ther dissatisfied guys, they r fueling ur aner n bitter ness
u c ur wife as controlling, think she cares more about he children than u
u ve got to talk, u r a father now, thats responsibility! buy video games dy all means but make sure evry one in the family gets smtin tnat makes them happy 2
n last, i think u love food, fat free fod is not as tasty as the counterpart, so just explain to ur wife,to give u the low fat option n if u r ok with ur weight, try taking up some sport or a physicel hobby so she will worry less about ur health n do u know that a guys sexual performance is inversely related to his weight? maybe thats why shes pushing the fat free foood n is ur wife a fitness sreak? if she is , it would be embarrasin to present a pudgy husband
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Most men are selfish pigs
written by Wife who is fed up, August 31, 2009
I bet your wife would be destroyed emotionally if she knew your true feelings! Wow that is harsh, how would you be if you had a sickly child? Men seem to me to be self centered and waiting for the chance to act like teens. I hope the younger girls coming up today get some sense and stop being sheep like I was. Another thing, women need to stick to their own husbands, they go to work and befriend male co-workers, they act all friendly, so soft ass man things femal co-worker is so cool, because he had nagging wife all weekend! Men these female co-workers go home take their maek-up off and do the same shit to their husbands you wife does to you
I am so fed up of males right now! I am fed up of having to treat them like spoilt children. It has always and laways will be a mans world. Should have smacked ya'll asses good when ya'll where born you shower of pigs!!!!!!!!!!
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I am going through this now with my husband
written by mommy2hendrix, December 03, 2009
my husband is an only child and is spoiled to death he treats me really bad sometimes and the way he acts and the things he says like he is going to leave me and that he wishes he never married me and had our kids really hurts me because i left my family my older son and moved 5 hours to have a life with him and now he is out with his friends while i stay at home with the kids all the time it is so hurtful to hear the one you love say such things to you i feel for your wife if she ever finds out how you feel and has to go through the pain i have been feeling for the past year my husband and i were best friends we did everything together until i had our daughter i laid in pain for 12 hours and had her with no pain medicine it is not easy bringing children into this world you guys have the easy part just stick it in and go we mothers carry that child for nine months and then give birth to them for you ungreatful men no i dont work but i stay at home and take care of a 19 month old and a 2 month old i clean i am a full time student i am always there for my husband and i love him very much just to hear him complain and rather be with his friends than his family but let me tell you something those friends wont always be there your kids will i hope you grow up and realize that your kids and wife is more valuable than any video game children are miracles and god gave them to you through your wife grow up and tell her how mcuh you love her
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Men???
written by Mama, December 07, 2009
This is the message my husband transmits to me when I complain about attention problems and he is is given the chnace to let out his feelings towards our "LOVELY" marriage... "we have a good life, nice house, nice car, nice kids, Im a hard worker, you don't have to work, at night you sit on your sofa, I lay on my bigger sofa...we watch TV "together", we are "happy" in our 80 year old type of marriage what more could youask for"???he says.....I say "except we are only 30!!!!we should be cracking some nuts and i don't mean pecans while we sit on our rocking chairs in the porch!!!!lol...wheres the attention I need to be able to feel like a happy stay at home mother, doing my part of the caring for him and the kids??? a car needs gas to run on and "some" (most) women need attention, that can be expressed in many different forms and positions...I mean ways...like a kiss, a flower, a Hello!!! ok that's enough stem released for today....lol....
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