Contrary to popular opinion your fiancés responsibility in your wedding does not end with the presentation of your engagement ring. There are many things that your fiancé can do to help you with all the wedding preparations, making it easier on you and giving you more time for taking care of yourself and enjoying the pre-wedding processes.
The first thing that you can do to include your fiancé in your wedding plans is to involve him in areas that may interest him. Of course you may not be able to rely on him to choose between Roses and Calla Lilies for your bridal bouquet but you can enlist his help with things such as cake frosting selection, choosing wedding favors and helping you with the color scheme of your wedding and reception. You can also enlist his help with choosing your photographer, videographer and the band or DJ. While he may not be comfortable in making the final decisions (and you may not be comfortable in allowing him the final word) he can help you to narrow down your choices by giving you his honest opinion on these matters.
One thing to keep in mind is that you should ask him for help directly. Don’t assume that he will feel needed and his opinion appreciated if you simply run a few choices by him. Ask him for his help. Tell him that you need his honest opinion on certain matters. Although weddings have always been considered the bride’s special day, he is after all getting married too. Involving him will create an even more secure bond between the two of you that will last throughout your marriage.
If you do ask him to help you pick certain vendors, colors, flowers or styles in general be sure to narrow down your choices first to include only a few of each. You can’t really expect him to know the difference between an Oleg Cassini and a Vera Wang gown. Most men don’t. You can however, show him photos or information about the decision that he will be helping you to make. If you are asking his opinion on centerpieces then show him photos of two or three selections that you are considering. If you want his opinion on the frosting or cake flavors then take him along to the caterer’s and let him sample the flavors that you are deciding among. Don’t overwhelm him with a lot of choices and be sure to seek his honest opinion.
The best way to involve him is to show him the plans that need to be made and finalized. Have your wedding checklist handy and show him everything that needs to be done. He can look over your list and choose the things that he will be most comfortable carrying out. Ask him what aspects he would like to include and strive to include the things that are important to him. While all little girls dream of their wedding days, men sometimes have fantasies about what this special day will be like for them as well. Be sure to ask your fiancé if there are any special attributes that he would like included.
Above all be sure to enjoy your time together. Don’t let your wedding plans take up all your time. Take in a movie or simply go for a walk in the park and discuss things other than your upcoming wedding plans. Putting too much time into your wedding can be stressful and cause problems for both of you. Enjoy each other and spend at least a few minutes each day contemplating why you fell in love and how wonderful your life together will be.